The Stars Hollow Branch
by bedford-girl
Summary: My Gilmore Girls and The Office Crossover starring Rory Gilmore as Pam Beesley and Jess Mariano as Jim Halpert... Stars Hollow meets Dunder Mifflin... Picks up at the beginning of The Office Season 3.


**THE STARS HOLLOW BRANCH**

This is my The Office/Gilmore Girls crossover. I had the idea when I was catching up on the latest season of The Office and I just decided to give it a try.

The characters are mostly from GG, but I have some from The Office, too. I wrote a list of the characters so that you get it. They are sort of a mix between the GG and The Office ones, they may be little different from what they were in Gilmore Girls.

This picks up at the beginning of The Office Season 3, so if you don't watch it, get the DVDs first, because this fanfic contains some spoilers and also because it's one of the greatest shows ever!

The fanfiction loosely follows the events on The Office. Oh, and I decided that Dunder Mifflin wouldn't be a paper company, instead it's a newspaper (stupid name, I know it, but it's fun :D), because I don't want them to be salesmen and that's it.

_Starring_:

_Rory Gilmore_ as Pam Beesley (she's not the receptionist, she is a journalist)

_Jess Mariano_ as Jim Halpert (he wil be more like Jess, because I just love him the way he is, he transferred just like Jim did, but I made him to transfer to Scranton, where is the original show is set. The important information on him is that he moved to Stars Hollow from New York when he was 17 and lived with Luke for several years before starting to work at Dunder Mifflin, where he met Rory, who was enganged to Dean. They became best friends but of course they are secretly in love with each other. And now he transferred. If you watch my promo for the Fanfic or the TV Show you pretty much get what happened)

_Taylor Doose_ as Michael Scott (He will be more like Michael, for he is so funny and he has this whole long-speeches thing)

_Kirk Gleason_ as Dwight Kurt Schrute (Big, big weirdos…)

_Lane Kim_ as Kelly (yeah, I made Lane to be the brainless chick, sorry, I love Lane, but I needed a Kelly and I made Dave to be Ryan, so…)

_Dave Rygalski_ as Ryan Howard

_Dean _as Roy (None of them are right for the girl they want, and they are both blue-collar workers… Roy is just screaming for Dean. I already broke up him and Rory so I don't even have to write them together, thank God)

_Karen_ as herself (I didn't want to make up my own character and Jess never really had any love interests besides Rory (Shane doesn't count) so I kept Karen)

_Luke Danes_ as Luke, the food-supplier guy (Originally I wanted Luke to be Stanley, but than I decided to give him a diner and he will work on the other side of the street)

_Miss Patty_ as Meredith (In my story she is the receptionist)

_Morey _as Toby

_Babette _as Phyllis (Babette and Morey… Well, looks like Phyllis and Toby are hitting it off… LOL)

_Paris Geller _as Angela (Yeah, I do realize I just hooked up Paris and Kirk, but come on, Paris is soo Angela!)

_Also starring: _Andy (lol, he is killing me), Lorelai Gilmore, Michel as Oscar Martinez (yeah, I made him gay, I'm evil), Zach, the delivery guy… and a bunch of other people I have forgotten…

I also made an opening credits in the style of The Office for the show and a promo for the premiere with the audio from The Office Season 3 Premiere.

You can watch them here:

**OPENING CREDITS:** http://youtube(dot)com/watch?v(equality)LXMgJhhSvf4

**PROMO:** http://youtube(dot)com/watch?v(equality)is5N6Kj4pzU

So, basically, this is it, let me know if i should continue and I will try to update often. Next chapter will have some background information on what happened in the past, if I go on with this. (Review, people!)

I try to write it in an actual 'transcript' style so you can understand how I imagine all of this (I'm quite a visual type and I also major in communication som y mind automatically thinks about how this could appear on screen, so sorry if I'm being confusing!

Also, English is not my native language so sorry if I make a few mistakes!

And believe me or not, I didn't abandon my other story, I have written it actually, I'm just extremely lazy about it, I don't know why… I will be burning in Hell for it.

So, this is kinda long, so I shut up now, let me know what you think (Reviews!!!!)

I don't own anything, except the idea of the crossover. And I'M NEARLY NOT AS FUNNY AS THE OFFICE, so I don't think I threaten NBC much. (By the way, they have the best shows right now on TV)

Bye&thanks for reading!

Feel free to ask if you have any questions!

**THE SERIES PREMIERE**

**Relatio****nship Training**

Opens with Taylor, sitting in his office at the desk.

Taylor: Everything is going well. Everybody is alright in the office. And that's what matters. We are one man short, but nothing we can't work with. (pause) Yes, Jess transferred to Scranton. I hear it's beautiful there, so I can't blame him. (stares at the table, then looks back to the camera) You know what, I'm proud of him. He got promoted. I feel like I'm a part of his success. Do you know the feeling when you meet someone and feel this instant connection between the two of you? That's what happened to me when I met Jess. He's a good guy. I welcomed him into my family and now he is out there, spreading his wings, flying high above. There's nothing more joyful for a father than teaching his son everythi ng he knows and then watching him fly out of the nest to find his own way. I'm the grown-up who is responsible for his success.

Camera cuts to show the whole office, with Luke, who is sitting at the other side of the table and stares at him, frowning.

Taylor: Except Jess is not really related to me.

Luke keeps staring.

Taylor (smiles into the camera lens): But I did raise him – in a way.

CREDITS

SCRANTON

Opens at Scranton, the camera shows the office, then Jess at a desk. He looks up to the camera, and rolls his eyes then nods his head in the direction of a guy sitting at a desk close to his, busy cleaning a hair-brush.

Cut to Jess, speaking into the camera.

Jess: Andy is… well, you know, he is what must have inspired Kevin Williams when he wrote 'Scream'… or Dawson's Creek, by the way. He is sort of like a mix between a serial killer and Willy Wonka. So - he is scary.

Cut to Andy who is talking to Karen behind Jess, then glances at Jess's back, who is facing the camera and makes a face. Andy walks up to him and sits at his desk, at some papers. Jess looks annoyed and tries to get them out, but Andy just sits there, and he doesn't bother himself.

Andy: Hey, small town boy.

Cut to Jess, talking to the camera again.

Jess: That's another thing about Andy. He calls me small town boy. (he gestures at himself) Just because I worked at the Stars Hollow office. (looks puzzled)

Cut back to Jess's desk.

Andy: How about a karaoke party? You, I, a good, old-fashioned singing competition?

Jess: No, thanks.

Andy: Afraid of getting beaten?

Jess: No, I just don't do American Idol.

Andy: Why not, it's the way of people from small towns to get noticed.

Jess: You know Stars Hollow's population plus two people live in Scranton. You are also a small town guy.

Andy: Okay, but you know, I didn't really live here all my life. I went to Cornelle. (Jess stares up at him for a few seconds) And also… there was this time when I went to Taiwan. I met this amazing girl at Cornelle, where I went, in New York, and when she went back to Taiwan I followed her.

Jess: Then why are you here?

Andy just stares back at him, then scowls and leaves him there. Jess looks into the camera with an amused face.

Cut to Jess again.

Jess: Taiwan, yeah. When I first got here, Andy came up to me and said hello in Chinese and told me he was in Taiwan for months with a _girl_I asked how he dealt with the Taiwan form of the tapeworms, 'The Fatal Guts-Bugs'. He went for a check-up that day. And he insisted on having a colonics. That's how well he got to know Asia.

Cut to people sitting in the Scranton conference room. Josh goes around and gives all of them a paper. He gives Jess two papers, because he doesn't want to go into the back, where Karen sits, and Jess is the closest to her. He gives her the paper and looks back at Josh. Karen looks at him with a small smile, then looks down, then back at him again.

Cut back to Jess.

Jess: Why am I here? It is pretty obvious. (pauses) I got promoted. My salary is higher. And I got to live in a city with population up to two people more than in Stars Hollow… Or three, since Mrs Connor died last week. So I guess I'm living the big city life now. More interesting people, more interesting stories to write about. And also I'm aware of the 'wildness' (he uses air quotes). It's all about partying.

Cut to Andy, singing in a hair-brush, while staring at himself in the mirror in the restroom, then smoothing his hair with his wet hands on the sides.

Andy (smiling confidentally at himself): Jess Mariano, you are going down.

STARS HOLLOW

Scene opens in Stars Hollow where Rory is on the phone.

Rory: Dunder Mifflin, this is Rory. – Hey, mom. – Yes, alright. I'm just fine. (glances up to the camera) – Listen, I can't talk right now. - Luke's? I'm not sure… - It's just weird. And I've got tons of food left after…. (camera focuses on her ring finger, but there's no ring) - Okay. - Okay, see you then.

Cut to the conference room. Rory's talking in the camera.

Rory: Yes, I called off my wedding. It was nothing like Runway Bride, I didn't leave him at the altar or anything. It was in advance. Two days before the wedding day. So… it was in advance. And it was mutual.

Cut to Dean, standing in the printing-house, speaking into the camera

Dean: What did I do when Rory broke up with me? Well, you know, I went out to a bar with my friends, got a beer and hooked up with a striper. All those macho things. (pause) Actually, it was more like crying myself to sleep and getting arrested.

Back to Rory.

Rory: I mean mutual… subconsciously.

Cut to back the office.

Rory sits at her desk, when Lane walks up to her, holding hands with a bored looking Dave.

Rory: Hey, guys.

Lane: Rory. (she hugs her. Rory awkwardly pats her back) I just want to say, you are totally my hero. You are so brave.

Rory: Uh, thanks?

Lane: Dave and I were just going over this thing you know, and I couldn't even decide what to wear, and you wedding just got closer and closer, and I still didn't know. I couldn't find anything awesome, you know, a cool dress for your wedding, but then you had second thoughts and that was just so cool, 'cause I was in serious trouble about my outfit. Oh, it must have been so hard for you, I mean you had a dress and everything, and you didn't get the chance to wear it… at least I didn't have any and that's so good, considering, I didn't have a wedding to attend at the end and I just wanted to say I'm so glad you decided to call off.

Rory: Uh… You're welcome?

Lane: Dave thinks you are his hero, too, although I don't know why, he had his tux. I guess he was just disturbed about the whole wedding thing you know?

Rory: Yeah, I totally understand.

Lane: Yeah, cause it's totally awesome, but men don't seem to tolerate it, I just don't get it, Dave knows I'm going to marry him right? He shouldn't be afraid of not having one.

Rory stares at her, then glances at Dave who looks like he just been hit by a baseball bat and doesn't know how to react, then looks back at Lane.

Rory: Yeah, I guess he knows.

Lane (smiles widely): That's such a relief, thank you, Rory, you are my ultimate hero. Besides Jennifer, of course, because she had this awful break-up with Brad, too. Except they were already married, and you are not! (she smiles and hugs her again, then turns to Dave, gives him a peck on the lips then bounces away happily)

Rory and Dave stand there, staring at each other, astonished.

Dave (points into the direction of the kitchen): I will just… go.

Rory: Alright.

Cut to Dave, sitting in the conference room.

Dave (his hands are messing up his hair and he is staring straight ahead, next to the camera): I… (trails off, but tries again) I… (blinks a few times)

Cut to Taylor and Kirk in his office.

Taylor: I've been thinking a lot since my girlfriend and I broke up.

Kirk: It was so cruel when she dumped you in front of everybody.

Taylor: She didn't dump me in front of everybody.

Kirk: She did. We all so it.

Taylor: Who? Who saw it?

Kirk: Everybody. Because it happened right here, in front of everybody.

Taylor: What are you talking about, nobody saw it.

Kirk (to the camera): She was yelling for 10 minutes, and when he grabbed her ankles crying. She was begging him to let go.

Taylor: What! No! Is that what you've been spreading in the office? That's not what happened. And anyway it was mutual.

Kirk: Yeah, mutual like you were begging too, but not for the same reason.

Taylor: That's enough! I can't believe what I'm hearing! It was a mutual break-up between two grown-ups! You should respect that! Tell everyone to be in the conference room in 10 minutes, we are holding a meeting so that hopefully you can learn to be adults about such sensitive subjects!

Kirk: It is lunch break. Everybody is over Luke's.

Taylor (looks at him): And why aren't you?

Kirk: I noticed you were sobbing earlier and I wanted to make sure you are okay. Besides hygiene is not Luke's strongest point. I hate having to wear a mask and gloves when I'm having lunch.

Taylor (stares at him for a moment before answering angrily): I was not sobbing!

Kirk: You were sniffling.

Taylor: That's because I'm cold.

Kirk: Your eyes were red.

Taylor: I have allergy, too.

Kirk: Do you want me to go to the pharmacy?

Taylor (annoyed): No! Just get everybody here! Lunch break is over! Get Luke to come too.

Cut to Kirk, getting his coat then stopping to talk in the camera.

Kirk: It is lunch break and Taylor is making me get the others back to the office. Anyone would hate doing this. Not me. I'm pleased. I love having responsibility over my shoulders. I love ruining other people's peaceful meals. And I love harrassing Luke. My reason? Jess. When he got transfered I got myself a T-shirt saying 'Jess Mariano bucks, Scranton sucks' and rented all the Star Wars movies and watched it. One by one. (stares, thinking, then adds) And Love Actually.

Cut to LUKE'S, Luke is speaking to the camera.

Luke: I remember it. Actually it said 'Never see you again Jess 'Smart-Ass' Mariano'. I guess he thinks it is funny if it rhymes. (pauses, thinking) Bucks? Is that even a verb?

Cut to Kirk, coming into the dinner, then looking around, until his gaze meets Paris's, he looks at her with a stern look and walks up to her.

Kirk: Paris.

Paris: Kirk.

Kirk: I'm really satisfied with the discussion we had earlier about _financials_.

Paris: Good. Me too.

Krik: Good.

Camera pans to show Dean's, Dave's, Darryl's disbelieving faces and Lane's clueless, happy face around.

Cut to Luke back.

Luke: Bucks? Seriously? I mean, what does that even mean? (looks around in the dinner) Rory! Would you come here?

Rory walks up.

Rory: Hey, Luke. (smiles in the camera, but looks away immediately at Luke's shoulders, little embarrassed, then glances up into his eyes)

Luke: We were just talking about the T-shirt Kirk had when Jess left. (Rory looks upset suddenly, and squirms while looking at the floor) You remember it, don't you?

Rory (looks up at him and tries to smile a little, but not really succeds): Yeah, I do.

Luke (not noticing her discomfort): It said 'Never see you again, Jess 'Smart-Ass' Mariano' but for some reason he claims it said 'Jess Mariano bucks, Scranton sucks'. I was just telling the guys here I don't even know what the hell it means, but sure you do.

Rory: Uh, uhmm.

Luke (looks back to the camera): I'm telling you, she's like a dictionary.

Rory: Oh, to buck means… to boast. To talk big.

Luke: I get it. Thank you. (looks in the camera) I told you, a full dictionary. (looks back at Rory smiling, then back to the lens. Rory stands in the background, looking uncomfortable, staring into the nothing, the camera turns from Luke to her and zooms at her face)

Cut to Kirk, walking to the centre of the dinner.

Kirk: Attention, people! (an old couple sitting at a nearby table looks up at him) Not you! You can eat. I only want the ones who are still able to work. (the couple looks at each other)

Luke (rushes up): Why are you scaring away my costumers, Kirk?

Kirk: I'm not scaring away them, I just have a message from Taylor.

Babette: It is our lunch break.

Kirk (covers his ears): Bla-bla-bla, can't hear you. (takes his hands down) False. I could hear you. I just don't care. Lunch break. Whatever.

Everybody just stares at him, not believing their eyes.

Luke: Okay, Kirk, tell the message, then leave.

Kirk: Lunch break is over! Everybody has to go back to the office immediately. Move, people! Now!

Nobody moves, everybody goes back to eating, except Paris, who stands up and walks to the door and stops there.

Kirk: Hey! – Darryl looks up, sighs and drops his fork, then looks up at Kirk. So do the others eating in the diner.

Dean: Why?

Kirk: What?

Dean: Why should we go?

Darryl: Yeah, man. What is going on?

Kirk: Taylor wants you in the office.

Babette: But it's lunch break.

Kirk (shrieks): Lunch break, lunch break, lunch break! That's all you can think about! You are making me sick!

Morey: Now, you know Kirk, why don't we just cool off?

Kirk: You know what, Morey, why don't you just back off? Taylor ordered us in the conference room and we should be there right now. So get up, and move!

Everyone at the office stares for a few moments, then Miss Patty gets up and goes outside, followed by Paris, then the others follow her too.

Cut to Kirk, speaking into the camera.

Kirk: I'm good with people. That's why I'm the spokesman of Dunder Mifflin. I know how to work with them. And if you ask me, that was a work done excellently.

Camera pans so we can see Luke standing next to Kirk, making a face. Kirk looks at him.

Kirk: What?

Luke: Leave. Now.

Kirk: Taylor wants you there too.

Luke: Why?

Kirk: He specifically asked for you, too.

Luke: I'm just his food-supplier, why would I go to an office meeting?

Kirk (pauses for a moment): Maybe he's hungry.

Luke: Leave.

Kirk: You have to come.

Luke: No.

Kirk stares at him.

Luke: Ah, you are annoying me, let's just get this over with. (he walks out of the dinner, followed by Kirk, when he goes outside, he turns back, but Kirk jumps in front of him)

Kirk: What are you doing?

Luke (holding up the key of the dinner): I'm locking the door.

Kirk steps aside, but looks at him with a strict face, Luke turns to the camera and shakes his head in disbelief while locking the door.

Cut to the conference room, where everyone sits. Luke sits in the first row, frowning at Taylor.

Taylor: Recently I heard some pretty outrageous rumors, that has been spreading around the office. (Luke raises his hand) Yes, Luke?

Luke: I don't see how it is my concern.

Taylor: What do you mean?

Luke: I don't work here.

Taylor: Yes, you do.

Luke: No, I don't?

Taylor: Well, technically, no, but you are part of our family.

Luke: I work on the other side of the road, in my own diner. I have nothing to do with you.

Taylor: You spend a lot of time here.

Luke: No, I don't.

Taylor: You bring the food in the office.

Luke: No, I have Zach to do it.

Taylor: You do come here.

Luke: I only come here, when Lorelai asks me to bring the food, so I can give Rory those little post-it notes she's writing for her all day, so Rory knows every weird thing, that happens in the diner, or in her inn or considering the shockingly odd neighbourhood, outside in general, but I often refuse to do so, and Lorelai doesn't trust Zach, because he read her letter once when he was the volunteer postman for the Spring Buzz when all those postmen was supposed to dress like Cupid, the point is that I'm so not here everyday, and last time I checked, being a part of a workplace implies an everyday connection, which we don't have, but I do have one across the road, and all I want is to go back there and earn some money, for God's sake!

Taylor: There's no need to get so upset, Luke. I meant extended family. You may think you are just the Food Guy, but believe me you are not just our lovely Rory's mother's fiancé or our ex-employee's, Jess's uncle. Luke, you've got a place in all of our heart. (Taylor glances up in the camera, and smiles, while covering his chest with his two hands, interwined together. The camera shows the faces of the others, who all stare at him, but Taylor looks pleased with himself and claps one-time)

Taylor: And that was I actually wanted to talk about!

Luke: About me?

Taylor: No, about relationships!

Babette: Relationships?

Luke: I'm not talking about Lorelai.

Taylor: Well, Lorelai is hardly a relationship, isn't she?

Luke: What's that supposed to mean?

Taylor: I'm not talking about Lorelai's and yours silly little relationship problems, I'm talking about deep, star-crossed love, which proves everyone that they were wrong when they were against them.

Rory: Star-crossed or star-crossed lovers.

Taylor: What?

Rory: I believe the term is really star-crossed or star-crossed lovers. Thely don't use star-crossed love. – she said explaining.

Taylor: Well, Rory, what I believe is that I said it, so it must exist. Star-crossed love. Oh my god, i just said it again! So, please, spare us the all-Yalie know-it-all staff, we all know you are smart, but you don't know everything. (Rory looks down, embarassed) So where were we? Right, I heard some awful things going around about my last girlfriend and I.

Miss Patty: Oh, yeah, right, the one who broke up with you in front of all of us!

Taylor: No, that's not what happened!

Babette: Oh, right, the blond one! Man, was there crying.

Taylor: There was no crying!

Luke: I remember that day. I had to bring 'break-up food'. What the heck is that?

Lane: Yeah!! I got it! The very one when he was grabbing her ankles!

Taylor: You don't know that!

Babette (to Lane): Yeah, sugar, that's the one!

Lane: Oh, it was so sad! It was like watching She's all that again, Laney realizes that she was only a bet for Zach, but she wasn't, but she doesn't know that, I mean that's totally sad. Or like One Tree Hill when Nathan accidentally tells everyone that it was the biggest mistake of his life to marry Haley. Except Haley wasn't exactly begging him. Well, sort of.

Miss Patty pats her hand.

Taylor: That's it, people, you need to get serious here! I'm going to pair up everyone, and we are going to pretend we are a couple and talk about couple-y things. So, let's see… Let Lane be with Dave. Kirk with Babette. Rory with Luke. (Luke raises his hand again) What now?

Luke: I won't pretend I'm a couple with my fiancée's daughter.

Taylor: Well, you just have to get over it.

Luke: I won't.

Taylor: Think about it like a practice for the time you will be her step-father.

Luke: How would this be a practice?

Taylor: Well, nowdays, you can never know, I mean think about Cruel Intentions or that other movie, Tadpole. You will only be related by marriage, so…

Luke: Taylor! That's sick! Pair me with somebody else or I'm out of here!

Taylor: Okay, then, party pooper, you can be with Miss Patty. Rory, because of your prude soon-to-be-step-father, you will be with Paris.

Rory: Paris?

Taylor: Yeah, we need a lesbian couple, too. Now go everyone, work on your problems! (he walks up to Lane and Dave, leaving Rory behind. She looks at Paris, then walks up to her.)

Rory: So…

Paris: So.

Rory: Uhm… what do you know about lesbians?

Paris: I'm not a lesbian!!! – she say shrieking.

Rory: Okay… uhm… (awkward silence, Rory looks uncomfortable, then Paris glances up)

Paris: What about you?

Rory: What! No, I'm not a lesbian.

Paris: Well, you know, you did break up your engangement. That's pretty suspicious.

Rory: I'm not a lesbian. (at Paris's sceptical face) I'm not!

Cut to Lane and Dave.

Lane (crying): And then I asked you to do this little thing for me and you didn't! I'm so getting fed up!! (she shrieks)

Taylor: Alright, alright, come on, calm down, tell me what the problem is and we will fix it. (hands her a tissue)

Lane (grabs the tissue and loudly blows her nose out. The mascara is running down on her face): Tha-hankhh-you. (she cries harder) It was… awhhh-ful. All I asked is to take me to the MTV Music Video Awards, so I can see Justin Timberlake, I mean he is so hot and he broke up with Cameron and that's so sad and it's what is going to happen to us, because he wouldn't even do this little thing for me! (she points at Dave accusingly and cries even harder, Dave looks at her flustered, while Taylor just stares at her, then grabs his tissue and walks away)

Cut to Kirk, talking into the camera

Kirk: I don't have any relationship problems. Wanna know the reason? I'm the tough guy. I'm a volunteer sheriff on weekends. Girls dig that.

Cut to Babette, talking in the camera.

Babette: I don't think Kirk has relationship problems. Actually, I don't think Kirk has any relationships at all.

Cut to Miss Patty and Luke.

Miss Patty: You know, I like you, Luke. I like the way you serve in your diner.

Luke: I'm engaged.

Miss Patty: Well, there's your relationship problem, then. Is Lorelai a jealous type?(she winks, Luke stares at her horrified)

Cut to Paris and Rory. Taylor walks up to them.

Taylor: How's my favorit-y lesbian couple?

Rory: Taylor, we are not really lesbians.

Taylor (smiles knowingly): Yeah, sure. – glances in the camera and shakes his head lightly while muttering 'Sure'.

Rory: We are not.

Taylor: We can help it. (hold up two post-it notes with the world 'Lesbian' written on them and sticks them on their forehead, Kevin walks up to them and stares at the two girls, sitting next to each other)

Kevin (smiles): Nice.

Paris gets the note off her head and crinkles it, and drops it to the floor and walks away.

Taylor stares in the camera and shrugs.

Cut to Rory, talking in the camera.

Rory: Today was Relationship Training. And as stupid as it may sounds, I think I really needed it. You know, just to move on with my life and everything. Maybe I do need to learn and get new experiences. I was just secure for so long, but I guess, now I'm out on the market again. (she keeps nodding her head, then trails off and stares for a moment) I don't mean new experiences in a lesbian way. I'm not a lesbian. (pauses) I'm not!

Cut to Taylor, talking in the camera in his office.

Taylor: I realized today that for this people, I'm not only a great boss, a trustful friend and an everyday topic in their conversations, but also, I'm their guide in life. Without me they'd have no clue how to act around the opposite sex. I think today I made people think (the camera shows Lane beating Dave with an umbrella through the window of the conference room, by the drapes, while Taylor continues with his speech) of what is important in life: love, understanding (Lane drops the umbrella and runs away, crying hard, camera focuses on Dave, who's hair is totally messy and stands as if he was rooted to the very right spot), being open to people and having a kick-ass boss (the camera cuts back to Taylor) who opens up your eyes to see all this. (he smiles in the camera)

Cut to Luke, standing in his dinner, talking to the camera.

Luke: I finally got it, the T-shirt. It should have said 'Jess Mariano gets more bucks, but Scranton still sucks'. I'm gonna tell Kirk, and watch his expression. Actually, I'm curious, if he wanted this originally, and there just wasn't enough space, or he is just an idiot. I sure hope so, cause I want to see him come in his new shirt in the diner. Last time I was able to kick him out everyday for two weeks. I'm going for three now.

Screen fades.

**END OF PREMIERE**


End file.
